She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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