I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
