The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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