Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
