Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
