Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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