I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
whose ass print is on the piano?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
