I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
