shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
