Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
