help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
