Non-Jews are for practice
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
