is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
