I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
