she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
