and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
