I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
