Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
