jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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