Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
