how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
