I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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