i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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