It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
