Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
