I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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