woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
