Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
