sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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