Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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