so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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