these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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