just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
