I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
