ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
