careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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