This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
