ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
