OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
