Are we in a gay sports bar?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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