he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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