im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
