Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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