do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
