i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
