I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
