Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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