Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
