i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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