How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
