Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
