I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
