dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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