you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Can you bring me the toilet please
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
